And All My Sins
by JJGrace42
Summary: And in that moment, Konoha became nothing more than a graveyard wrapped around a river of blood and ashen bones. Hokage!Danzo/AU/Canon Divergence fanfic. Rated M for violence, strong themes, and language.


**Author's Note:** This story is dark and deals with difficult subject matter that may be triggering for some people. Please read responsibly.

* * *

Chapter One - Adam

_4 weeks from now . . . ._

During her nightmares, she bit through her own tongue to keep her screams hidden so that when she awoke it was to her own blood dripping down her throat. Sakura rolled to the side and spat out the red. But with those screams still echoing about in her head, her stomach turned over and bile burned her mouth. Her shoulders shook and she struggled up to her knees before curling forward and retching. She stayed there, chest heaving and burning and aching while sourness stained her lips.

"Sakura." The voice cracked dryly and a strong hand pressed comfortingly—familiarly—between her shoulder blades. "Lee or Tsunade?" he asked.

She shook her head harshly and sat back. An arm curled around her as she did so, pulling her so that she was secured up against his side. He pressed a water bottle into her hands and held them steady while she drank. Sakura sighed shakily and let her head drop against his shoulder. "Thought it was you this time."

"Maa, that's ridiculous. You can't get rid of me that easily." He took the water bottle back and stored it away. "Alright, to your feet. Let's get this cleaned up." He pulled her up and helped her stumble over so that she was closer to the fire. "Still nauseous?"

She shook her head.

"Good." Then he left and she remained, staring into the fire that somehow failed to warm the chill inside her. When he returned, it was to hand her rolled sleeping mat to her. Sakura took it with shaking hands and murmured gratitude. He just smiled at her and ruffled her hair.

"You're too good to me, Sensei," Sakura whispered. "I haven't been able to do anything for you."

"Now you're just being stupid," he remarked, sitting down and warming his hands close to the flames. "You think I could do this on my own?"

"You should have left me in Konoha. I'm just going to hold you back. And I'm not sure I can— Itachi? The Akatsuki? How am _I_ supposed to help you with that? I couldn't keep Sasuke in the Village, I couldn't help stop the revolt, I couldn't," —her voice broke— "save Lee, and I couldn't—"

"Stop. You're just listing off bad things and forgetting the good. You think I don't feel useless about how I couldn't save my teammates?" He shrugged. "Life sucks. That's just how it is."

She managed to look up at him. "So why'd you bring me, then?"

"Because I wouldn't be able to do this without you," he said, grinning. Not for the first time, she felt herself unable to look away from his exposed face as he spoke. "I mean, c'mon, first time I got injured I would've died without you."

"It was a stupid injury in the first place," she sniffed. "Honestly, I think you're the only jonin ever that's broken his nose from head-butting an enemy."

"That's not true. I know for sure that Gai has. Er, had." He flinched. "I need you here, Sakura."

She took a long, hot, shaky breath. "Okay," she sighed. "Okay. Thank you."

* * *

_Present time . . . ._

Her hands shook and she tightened her grip on the clipboard dangerously to try to steady them. She forced out a breath and closed her eyes, trying to focus. Focus on the _now_ and focus on the _future._ She had to stop focusing on _him._

_"__Stay safe. Promise me. Promise you'll stay safe."_

_"__You know me well enough to know that I can't promise that."_

"Doctor?"

She jerked, eyes flying open. She managed to hone in on the nurse standing in front of her, but the blaring alarm caught her attention instead. She dropped the clipboard, eyes widening as she whipped around to stare at the computer. "Room 209," she gasped. "Oh, no." She turned on her heel and took off running.

"Out of the way!" she yelled, barely dodging a nurse. Then she threw open the door. "Izumo!"

"Shizune! Thank kami!" he cried out, looking up from where he had his hands crossed over Kotetsu's chest. "Help! Please!"

"Move, move, move!" She pushed him out of the way and folded her hands over Kotetsu's chest. As she began CPR, she focused on drawing her chakra forward. Green lit around her hands and Kotetsu's lungs expanded. "C'mon," she muttered, glancing up towards the heart monitor that had set itself to one constant tone. "C'mon!"

Beside her, Izumo gripped Kotetsu's good hand and muttered, "Please, please, please, please."

She could feel the pain forming at the front of her mind from concentrating so much with so little sleep. Her hands shook and stung from the chakra she was pushing through them. "Please," she begged. "Not you too. Not you too!"

"Doctor. Doctor, please. Doctor! Shizune!"

Hands closed on her shoulders and pulled her back. She couldn't fight, all her strength leaving her body in her tears. "No! No!"

"Doctor Shizune, please!"

Through her blurred vision, she saw one of the nurses lean over Kotetsu. "Time of death, 3:41 AM."

Shizune shuddered at those words and grasped wildly to her left. "I-izumo—"

The door slammed loudly and Shizune collapsed backwards into herself. Someone called her name and she waved a shaking hand. "Give me a moment," she begged. "Please."

"I wish I could. Da— Hokage-sama wants to see you. He's in your office."

"He's— Okay." Shizune fought back the bile burning her throat and fixed her ponytail. "Thank you," she murmured. She half-stumbled out into the hallway. When she reached her office door, she straightened and adjusted her coat. Then she stepped inside. "Hokage-sama."

The man looked up, setting down the file he'd been looking through. He watched her for a moment before nodding. "Kato-san, there's an issue that needs to be dealt with: the burial of your late mentor."

Shizune swallowed and pretended she didn't feel the burning salt in her eyes.

"I'd like to offer you the opportunity to arrange the service. As a gesture of good will. Do you accept?"

Her mouth was dry, but she managed, "Hai."

"Good." He hauled himself to his feet and drummed his fingers on the top of his cane as he glanced around her office for a moment. Then he made his way out of the door. "Good talk."

Shizune couldn't move until she heard the clip-clop-tap of him leaving disappear. Then she stepped forward and picked up the abandoned file with shaking hands. Across the top, in bold, sat the name _Uzumaki Naruto._

"Shizune."

She jumped, dropping the folder. Catching herself, she glanced back to find a nurse standing at the door. Shizune sighed and then managed a smile. "Hai?"

"Higarashi-san is ready for a final check-over before being released. She's in room 307."

"Thank you, Moro-san." Shizune forced herself up and back out the door. Medically, she knew it was impossible, but sometimes she still wondered if walking this much without rest could cause someone's feet to fall off. She reached the door and knocked before pushing her way inside. "Afternoon, Tenten. How are you feeling?"

Tenten attempted a smile, but it was lost in the mess of bandages that were covering over half her face. "About as well as can be expected," she rasped. "How's Neji?"

Shizune picked up the clipboard at the end of the bed and started looking it over. "He's stable. That's all that matters." She flipped through the charts. "Your bandages were already changed?"

"A half hour ago, yeah."

"Good." Shizune put the clipboard down with a sigh, but this time it was a sigh of relief. "You're all clear." At those words, Tenten got to her feet and began toeing on her shoes. Shizune pulled out her ponytail and ran a hand through her hair. "And that's the first good thing that has happened all day." Her voice broke.

Tenten paused in the middle of pulling on her coat. "What happened?"

"It— Nothing."

"Shizune," Tenten whispered. "Please. Who else did we lose?"

"Kotetsu."

* * *

"I was discharged, you know," she said, looking through the pages on the clipboard. "I think they expected me to go home, but I can't just leave you here alone. Not . . . not after everything." She cleared her throat forcefully. "I don't want to be alone either, so you're stuck with me. I hope you don't mind." She hung the clipboard on the end of the bed again and pulled up a chair. "The chart says you're stabilizing. That you're healing." Tenten licked her lips nervously, sitting down. "You better be. I'd never forgive you if you left me alone."

Her only answer was the slow beeping on his heart rate monitor.

She tapped her steady hands against her bouncing knees. "I need you. I don't have anyone else, you know." Tenten leaned forward and carefully took his cold, limp hand in hers. "Please don't leave me. Please, please, please don't. I—" The sob took her by surprise and she pulled back, slapping her hand over her mouth. Her shoulders shook silently and she screwed her eyes shut.

"Tenten?"

Tenten jumped in alarm, swinging to her feet and around to face the door as her hand went to the knife hidden under her shirt. The blonde in the doorway froze and offered up a broken smile, her exhaustion highlighted by the dark circles under her eyes. "Sorry. Didn't mean to surprise you. I thought you would hear me coming." Her pale gaze flicked to the hospital bed. "How's he doing?"

"He's . . . he's stable," Tenten mumbled, wiping her eyes. "Not in danger of getting worse or dying. Now it's just a case of . . . . Well . . . ."

"If he'll get better," Ino murmured. She bit her lip and studied Tenten's pale expression, half-hidden by her bandages. "You're healing okay?"

"I guess."

Ino sighed and then reached out, grasping Tenten's elbow. "Why don't you and I head over to my dad's— Um, to my," —her voice broke— "shop and get some flowers for him?"

"I, I don't—"

"On the house. He'll want something nice to look at when he wakes up, won't he?"

Tenten sighed. "Yeah, I guess." She threw a look back at her unconscious teammate. Then she let Ino pull her towards the door. "How are Shikamaru and Choji?"

Ino flinched visibly and drew her hand back from Tenten's arm. She continued to lead the way, wringing her hands. "Not . . . not great. Um, Choji has it really bad 'cause, you know, Choza was the only parent he had left. And Shikaku was—" Ino sucked in a breath. "They're surviving."

"And you?"

"I'm fine."

"You're lying."

"Yeah, well, what do you want me to do?" Ino jogged down the stairs ahead of her. "I've cried enough as is. I don't want to do it anymore."

Tenten pressed her lips together. "Okay. Um, what flowers should I get Neji?"

"I'm thinking some coral rose and aborvitae. Maybe some basil flowers? And some white daisies."

She took a shaky breath and nodded.

Ino glanced at her and smiled. "Don't worry. He's going to be alright."

* * *

"What are you doing here, pup? You have a clan to run."

Kiba dropped to the ground beside the ninken and tangled a hand in Kuromaru's fur. "Not yet, I don't," he rasped. "Not clan head just yet."

The dog grunted, eyes still closed with his nose just centimeters away from his mistress's headstone. "You're alpha."

Kiba flinched. "I don't want to be."

"Don't be a coward. The time for tears has its place, but your responsibilities don't wait."

"Kuro—"

"The others? Your friends?"

"What . . . what about them?"

"They're alive?"

"Some . . . some of them." Kiba withdrew his hand. "I'm not sure."

There was no response to that, and he knew exactly what that meant. Kiba growled, baring his teeth, but didn't get a response to that either. He sighed and dropped his chin to his chest before pushing himself to his feet. "Fine. I have a smart-ass to visit."

He kept his head down as he walked through the streets, relying more on muscle memory than anything else to take him where he wanted to go. He found himself at the compounds gates and stopped short, staring at the iron wrought bars.

"Kiba-kun?"

He glanced to the side. "Hinata? You're coming to see him too?"

Hinata looked down and a sad smile curled her lips. She clutched the flowers in her hands. "Shino lost his entire hive," she murmured.

Kiba's eyes widened and he felt himself stagger a touch. "He— Oh kami," he breathed. "I didn't know."

"I was there when they discharged him from the hospital. That's the only reason I know." She looked up and cleared her throat. "Um, I thought I could take him out for some dango. Just to be there for him. Having you there will help. We're a team."

Kiba nodded and managed a sad smile of his own. "We're a team."

* * *

"He . . . he was lying, right?" Naruto's voice cracked a painful way and let a little bit of his desperation seep through. "I mean, Baachan couldn't have— Who the hell does this Danzo person think he is?" And just like that, the disbelief turned to anger and his voice rose. "Just wait until I get my hands on—"

"No," Jiraiya said suddenly, voice sharp and angry. "Absolutely not. Danzo has always been strong. I guess he was just stronger than . . . than we thought."

"But we have to do something! We can't just—"

"We will. He mentioned that Kakashi is missing from the Village, right? That Danzo's put out a reward for him? Kakashi escaped. We just need to find him. If we want to remove Danzo from power, then we need to plan long term. And for that, we need your sensei."

Naruto ground his teeth, considering Jiraiya's moved. Then his shoulders slumped. "Okay," he rasped. "Okay. Let's find him."

* * *

"I'm not sensei material."

The hitai-ate was heavy in her hands, but she couldn't bring herself to put it on. So instead, she listened. Because what else could she do?

"I'm not giving you a choice," Danzo said, leaning forward with his hands folded on the desk. "You are a skilled shinobi. And you will pass on those skills to your new students."

Moegi grit her teeth and curled her hands around the headband. She felt the metal dig into her palm and she glanced to the side at where Hanabi stood, stone-faced. The other girl already had her hitai-ate tied around her forehead and she was standing at attention, hands folded behind her back. Several steps aside, Anko was standing tensely with her back to them.

"I'm _not_ sensei material," the tokubetsu jonin ground out again.

"And I don't care." Danzo stared at her evenly. "This is not a choice. As of now, you have two new genin to instruct. Is that clear?"

Anko ground her teeth loudly. Moegi ducked her head, staring at her hitai-ate again instead. And then she heard the answer.

"Fine. Crystal clear." Anko turned and snapped out, "Come on, girls. I need some alcohol."

Moegi nodded and kept her head down as she turned and followed her. She could feel Hanabi's chilling presence behind her. When the office doors closed loudly, she finally found her voice. "Anko-sensei?"

"What?" Anko asked sharply, stopping short and whipping around.

Moegi stopped and swallowed. She cleared her throat. "I . . . just wanted to say that it's an honor," she murmured. "I understand you don't want to do this, but it really it an honor to be your student."

Anko eyed her for a long moment. Then she grunted. "Fine. And you?" she asked, turning to Hanabi.

Hanabi was still blank faced. She inclined her head. "The same, I supposed."

"Huh." Anko glanced between the two of them. "Maybe this won't be terrible. Let's get started."

* * *

"The flowers are from Ino for your dad. The food is from me for your mom."

Shikamaru stared at what Choji was carrying for a long moment. Then he looked up at Choji, clenching the lighter in his right fist. "Thanks," he rasped out. "Come on in. Um, my mom's asleep, so just don't make too much noise." He stepped aside. "How are you doing?"

"I spent three hours dicing onions."

Shikamaru winced. "That bad, huh? Um, you can just put the food in the kitchen." He reached out and took the flowers with his free hand. "I'll put these on the shrine." He moved down the hallway.

Choji stepped into the kitchen and opened the fridge, setting the covered dish inside. He turned and jumped. "Oh! Yoshino-san. Shikamaru said you were sleeping."

"I tried," she murmured, smiling softly. "Thank you for the food."

"Of course. It's, um, it's the least I can do."

Yoshino looked unimpressed. "Don't sell yourself short. I think some Akimichi food is just what most people need at the moment. It's hardly the least of anything."

"Kaachan." Shikamaru appeared next to her in the doorway and put a hand on her shoulder. "You're supposed to be resting."

"I'm _fine,"_ she said firmly, reaching up to put a hand on his. "Don't worry so much about me."

He grunted at that and shook his head. "C'mon, let's go sit down."

She pushed his hand off. "I can sit myself down. If you want to do me some good, why don't you make some tea?"

"Tea? Okay. Tea. I can do tea." He gently pushed her from the room and then turned to the counter.

Choji frowned and stepped up next to him. "Is there . . . something going on that I don't know about? I mean, your mom's not exactly fragile."

"I know," Shikamaru murmured, putting the kettle on to boil. "I'm well aware of that."

"Well? What is it, then?"

He paused and looked up. "I . . . . Two days ago, you know, before _everything,_ Kaachan told me and my . . . father that she's expecting. And now my little sibling isn't going to have a father."

Choji's eyes widened. "Expecting? Oh." He glanced at the doorway Yoshino had left through. "I . . . . Let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I'd like to help."

Shikamaru sighed and poured the boiling water into the cup. "I know, Choji. Believe me, I know."

* * *

"Kakashi!" Sakura screamed, punching through the last enemy. She collapsed at the man's side. "No, no, no. Look at me. Look at me!"

He didn't. His head was lolled to the side, nose completely crushed and streaming with blood.

Sakura took a deep breath. "Get it together," she hissed at herself. "You're going to be okay, Sensei. You're going to be okay."


End file.
